


Hush

by Hikikomori_Ho



Series: Hush, it'll be okay in time. [1]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bottom Shin Hoseok | Wonho, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Sad, Trauma, dont read this if you are sensitive, only one of the three relationships will happen in the end, twink wonho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-10-29 02:30:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17799431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hikikomori_Ho/pseuds/Hikikomori_Ho
Summary: Beauty can't always be a blessing.





	Hush

**Author's Note:**

> ' and the worst of all:  
> the total absence of hope. '
> 
>  
> 
> Hi~  
> this is... i don't know what this is but it just came to me so i wrote it. i did NOT imagine them while writing it because i can't deal with the thought of them going through this. i only used their names and visuals.
> 
> Profile:  
> Wonho is 22.  
> Hyungwon is 35  
> Hyunwoo is 37  
> Kihyun is 36
> 
>  
> 
> once again, do not read this if you are sensitive because this has every bad topic in it! and only one of the ships will happen so don't expect a 4some!
> 
> p.s.: i don't know, i might add a smut chapter of the ship later on in the future.
> 
> ps2: you can follow me on IG ( it's solely for my fics. ) ^ ω ^  
> [@hikikomori_ho](https://www.instagram.com/hikikomori_ho/)

hyungwon was an undercover cop. he was assigned to a mission on illegal prostitution. there were many underground centers, powerful and protected by mafia that it had been so hard finding the head of the pyramid from the outside. thus, they had given him a fake identity to go in and find the details from the inside the core.

he had started from the bottom. doing drug deals and gaining his bosses’ trust, getting promoted every few months with how good he was in acting like a bad guy. sometimes he thought maybe that was who he really was. violent, merciless, fucked up. it was easy to lose yourself when you’d been acting the role of a ga*gster for 4 whole years.

 

the day came. his boss chose him as one of the members of the group he was going to take with himself to a meeting with ‘ the king ‘. that’s what the bastard called himself.

he could easily sell himself as an actual king with how big and protected his ‘castle’ was. hyungwon had never seen a place like it before. big metal gates, protected by dozens of armed men. they didn’t let them in without checking all of their identities and making them hand in all of their weaponry.

 

walking through the corridor, surrounded by guards, they were stopped in front of a pair of huge bulletproof doors. one of the guards nodded at the man who was standing on the side. the latter nodded back and went inside. coming back a few minutes later, he held the door open for them: “ come in “

 

hyungwon’s breath was literally taken from him. the whole place was beyond beautiful. victorian style. columns covered in gold and crystals. it was insane.

the guards cleared their view and stood on the sides and he finally saw the man he had been trying to get close to for the past years. the king.

 

hyungwon had always thought of him as one of those fat as fuck mafia bosses, needing other’s help to even stand on their feet but to his surprise, he was actually quite fit. well dressed, clean and he hated to admit but handsome. but nothing could cover the nasty look he had in his eyes.

 

“ i see you got new dogs danny “ the king said, rubbing his chin and leaning back on his huge chair, or was it meant to resemble a throne? it was fucking expensive whatever it was supposed to be.

his eyes landed on hyungwon and smirked. “ hot ones “

“ i could sell you with a damn good price if you were one of my sluts with that face and body proportion “ the king licked his lips and narrowed his eyes.

hyungwon didn’t dare to talk back. these people were crazy. one wrong move and he could be killed. so despite the shiver and the disgust that made him wanna vomit, he kept the smug look on his face and remained quiet.

 

“ there’s this ship. it’s coming all the way from across the ocean. i need you to capture it for me. i’ve been told there’s good souvenir in there. “ he took a puff of his cigar.

“ what kind of souvenir? “ daniel, his boss asked.

“ the- “ he was about to talk but something behind the ‘throne’ must have moved because the chain that hyungwon hadn’t noticed until then made a sound. must have been one of those big scary black dogs.

 

the king looked back and patted the pet with his hand. they still couldn’t see shit with how big this chair was.

“ you’re awake. come out. don’t be shy. “ the words were nice but the dirty grin on his face was saying otherwise. the pet must have not reacted because after all how could an animal understand human words?

 

“ i said come out you slut “ the king got angry and impatient. he tugged the chain and pulled it roughly. poor dog must have felt pain but no sound of cry came out.

 

hyungwon’s eyes widened when he saw blond hair appear from the back of the chair. it was a person. he thought it was a dog but it was a human being. a thin, young boy in nothing but a tight black underwear. there was a choker around his neck and the chain was linked to it. there were cuffs around his wrists and ankles and they were not those safe fluffy ones. they were just pure metal that had clearly broken his skin and left open wounds on it. his body was covered in bruises but his face had nothing on it, at least not from the little skin that hyungwon could see.

 

the tug on the chain must have been powerful or the boy must have been just too weak to be able to resist it. he fell forward and managed to save his face from hitting the floor in time by landing on his hands. he looked like he was about to puke due to the pressure on his neck but still no sound came out of him. he had thigh leather bands on and they were so black in comparison to his really pale skin. hyungwon couldn’t see his face well. just the blond hair that looked wet.

 

“ like what you see? “ the king must have caught him staring.

“ he’s a beauty, ain’t he? “ gripping the boy’s face harshly, he made him look up in one move.

wow. that was the first thing that crossed hyungwon’s mind. he was beyond beautiful. red full lips with the corners a bit upwards. his eyes were really beautiful with big pupils. but what caught him off guard was the uneven eye colors. one of the boy’s eyes was honey brown and the other was blue. he appeared to have soft cheeks because they were looking quite squishy in that bastard’s grip. that grip must have been enough to break his jaw bone if he applied just a bit more pressure.

 

the boy wasn’t looking up. it earned him such a hard slap that he ended up hitting the ground. but the fucker didn’t let him collect himself as just after the slap he pulled on the chain again and made the blond boy sit up on his knees.

“ i told you to look at our guests, didn’t i? “ the king said as he gripped his cheeks again. the uneven eyes looked up slowly and landed on him. they looked empty. he had predicted them to be sad but they were just.. empty.

 

hyungwon had thought that there was no humanity left in him after the things he had to do but seeing this boy, vulnerable and broken, made his heart ache.

“ when i got him, he was just 13. but he was too beautiful i couldn’t bring myself to let anyone else have him. he’s my very personal slut. aren’t you wonho? “he patted the said boy’s head like a fucking dog.

 

wonho must have been in situations like this a lot to know that not answering this monster would cost him. he nodded.

 

“ do you wanna have a taste? he’s really fuckable. “ hyungwon felt his soul leaving his body when he heard it. looking at the king, he realized that the question was directed at himself.

“ you’re pretty so i’ll let you. come on. fuck him right now. entertain us a bit. i’m bored. “

hyungwon looked back at wonho. the poor boy wasn’t even looking up. he was sitting there obediently and staring at this hands that were resting on his thighs. the floor must have been cold and a hard surface to be sitting on with bare skin.

“ go on. don’t upset him. “ his boss whispered and pushed him forward.

hyungwon didn’t wanna do it. he didn’t. he couldn’t. it was way beyond all the things he had done by now. he couldn’t just fuck this poor kid in front of all these people. how could he fuck anyone in front of others?! but if he didn’t, there was a good chance he’d be shot dead on the spot and 4 years of gathering information would be for nothing. he had to do it now, gain this motherfucker’s trust, get him arrested later and free wonho from him.

 

swallowing hard, he started walking toward them. there was a table in front of the king’s throne. he stood there when he reached it, breathing hard and clenching his jaw.

the king grinned and looked down at wonho. “ you know what to do. “

the boy nodded and started crawling toward him on his hands and knees. the sound of chains echoed in the room. no one dared make a single noise with how tense the king’s aura was.

stoping in front of hyungwon, the boy sat on his knees and looked into his eyes for a brief moment. he could swear he saw sadness in his face. maybe he hadn’t gotten all used to it and wasn’t completely broken yet.

undoing the zipper of his jeans, wonho took him in his mouth. hyungwon hated getting hard at that situation. he had hoped to be unable to get hard and then use it as an excuse to not fuck wonho but the boy was damn good at it and nothing he could do was gonna be enough to stop the body’s reaction.

 

wonho leaned back, breathless when he was hard enough. he got up on his feet for the first time, turned around silently and bent over the table without any struggle. only then hyungwon could see the whip scars on his back. they were not that old, they were still swollen and quite red and must have been really painful but there was no sign of pain on wonho’s face what-so-ever.

 

“ fuck him. “ the king demanded and threw a condom at him.

blinking and biting his tongue hard, hyungwon walked a step and positioned himself after wearing the condom. he was facing the king. no one behind him could see wonho, nor his erection and that was at least a bit good in this fucked up situation.

taking the underwear down a bit, he wanted to ask for lube but figured it would be ridiculous when he saw how wounded his butt was. there was no way the king used lube ever.

pushing himself in slowly, he felt how wonho’s body clenched and his hands gripped the edges of the table. the boy closed his eyes once he was completely in and ready to move.

he started fucking him. but he couldn’t bring himself to go hard. now that he was looking at wonho’s body up close, he couldn’t stop the desire of just shooting this fucking asshole who called himself the king and get this innocent boy out of this hell. wonho should have been screaming in pain due to his countless wounds and bruises but somehow he wasn’t.

“ is that all you can do? fuck him hard. destroy him. “ the king commanded and got a whip out all of a sudden and hit the ground with it.

wonho’s body jerked dramatically at the sound of it and hyungwon saw how his knuckles turned white from gripping too tightly on the edges of the table above his head.

he started fucking him harder, realizing there was no other choice and that if he didn’t, wonho was probably the one who would get punished for it later. he went as hard as he could, grabbing wonho’s waist to make him steady and not rubbing on the surface of the table with his irritated skin.

hyungwon was so focused on not making wonho get punished later that he forgot how much in pain he must have been in at that moment. he was about to cum when he looked up at his face and saw tears running down on his pale face. his expression was just as emotionless as previous but there were just endless tears pouring out of the corner of his eyes and making a lake on the table. seeing that, hyungwon felt like killing himself right at that moment. moving in one last time, he faked it and pulled out carefully. he couldn’t go on anyway, he lost his erection the moment he saw those tears.

 

covering wonho in his underwear again, he zipped up without taking the condom off and looked at the king “ may i go to the bathroom? “

the king smirked and nodded to one of the guards. the armed man signaled him to follow as they walked out of the room.

“ good boy. if you had been this good earlier, i didn’t have to punish you that bad. “ he heard the filthy voice say on his way out.

 

 

it had been a week. he couldn’t sleep. every time he closed his eyes, wonho’s face appeared in his mind. no matter how many times he showered, he couldn’t get rid of the dirty feeling. he couldn’t forgive himself for what he had done to the poor soul. he couldn’t eat either. each time, he remembered those fresh wounds and would puke whatever he had forced down his throat. they were going to that hell house tomorrow again. he had to sneak around a bit and see what he could find. he had reported the location of the house and the station gave him information on the position of cctv cameras and guard rotations after investing there for a week. he had to find where the safe was kept.

 

it was hard. coming up with an excuse for leaving the room unguarded was hard but he managed, using 4years of learning tricks and everything. going through the blind spots, he reached a room they suspected the safe was kept in. fortunately, the room was unlocked.

opening the door very slightly, he checked if anyone was inside before going in and closing it behind himself.

hyungwon started looking around and checking every corner and every closet. he didn’t have much time and he had to be quiet and quick.

he got so scared he almost shouted when he saw wonho under one of the tables, curled up in himself and looking at him with his wide eyes. the chains were still on him just like before but he was wearing a long shirt this time.

hyungwon panicked. he didn’t know what to do. he didn’t know whether wonho would tell on him or keep it to himself but he knew one thing. he had to apologize now that they were alone and he had the chance.

he started walking toward the boy who was hiding under the table and crouched down. the closer he got, the more tense wonho’s body became and when he was down to the boy’s level and tried to reach out to him, his body jerked violently and he exhaled roughly out of fear as his whole body started trembling.

“ hey, hey, it’s okay. i won’t hurt you. i promise. “ he whispered and took his hand back. wonho’s wide uneven eyes didn’t leave him, observing his every move.

“ i’m sorry for what i did to you. i didn’t have a choice. i will get you out of here. okay? i will make him pay for the things he did to you, i swear wonho, i will. “ he didn’t know why he was saying all of that to a boy he didn’t even know if he could trust but somehow he knew he wouldn’t say anything. for all he knew, wonho probably couldn’t talk at all. he hadn’t heard a single word or sound from him.

just as wonho’s features began to lose the tension a bit, the sound of footsteps echoed in the hallway outside. the blond boy’s eyes widened in fear and his mouth opened. he looked at the door and back at hyungwon before he moved out of his hiding place and forced hyungwon there instead. wonho stood up on his feet and dragged a chair in front of the table hyungwon was hiding under. was he trying to protect him from being found out?

 

the door opened as soon as wonho kneeled on the ground in front of the entrance.

“ fucking cunts. stupid fucking pieces of shit. they can’t even do one thing right.” hyungwon heard the king’s voice say as he opened and closed the door with a loud bang.

“ come here you fucking slut. “ the bastard bent down, gripped wonho’s waist and threw him on the bed harshly.

“ didn’t i tell you to behave when i send you to a costumer? huh? “ he got his belt out of his jeans and whipped the boy without mercy.

“ you piece of shit scratched his face. “ the leather touched wonho’s skin again. “ are you a fucking cat? huh? “he started shouting and whipping him again and again. the only thing wonho did was covering his face with his arms. the chains were making noises nonstop. it was like the chains were screaming in wonho’s place. hyungwon was sure at that point that the boy was mute. no way he could go through that without as much as a whimper.

 

when the bastard thought his punishment was enough, he started fucking him. raw and rough. he thought he had gone rough on him the other day but it was nothing compared to what wonho was going through at that moment. his eyes were tightly shut, making wrinkles appear as tears started falling out again. the bastard covered his nose and mouth, making him go almost purple each time before letting him breathe just a bit. hyungwon was thinking whether killing him there would be considered bad for their mission. they wanted to arrest him but if he killed him, at least one of the world’s cruelest beings would be wiped out. but then, both him and wonho wouldn’t make it out of the castle alive probably.

 

when the king was done with wonho after probably an hour of brutally raping him and leaving him in nothing but a limp body and red bruised skin, he let himself fall on top of the boy.

wonho was breathing roughly open-mouthed and was getting crushed under the body on top of him. he opened his eyes, red, teary and swollen and looked at hyungwon’s direction. a few seconds later, wonho’s eyes moved to a wall across from the bed. hyungwon followed his eyes. there was only a painting there. he stared at the painting for a bit before looking back at hyungwon again. he was showing him the location of the safe, wasn’t he?

that wasn’t all. hyungwon’s attention moved to wonho’s hand.

his hand was pale and shaking with how weak and used he was at that moment. he opened his fist completely and made space between his fingers, staring at hyungwon. then he closed his thumb, then index finger, then middle finger, the ring and finally his pinkie. 5 4 3 2 1 0

hyungwon couldn’t stop the tear that ran down his face. wonho not only showed him the safe but gave him the password as well. he was in that state but gave him all that information.

 

around fifteen minutes later, wonho looked at the man on top of him and back at hyungwon. tilting his head to the side, he singled him that he could leave now.

moving out of under the table quietly, he crawled on the floor and carefully turned the knob. he checked to see if anyone was there but thankfully no one was around. he didn’t have time to look back at wonho anymore and just left there as quick as possible, promising himself that he would soon come back to get him out.

 

 

 

 

“ so you’re telling me that you didn’t manage to find the safe but you guess where it is? “ the commander asked him.

“ yes, sir. we have a meeting there next week again. i’ll make sure to check it out.

“ we don’t have time hyungwon. we should arrest them before they get their hands on that ship. “

 

 

next week came and there they were at that filthy place again. the king wasn’t on his ‘throne’ this time. they were told to wait there for him and they did, for about 20 minutes. the sound of his voice, shouting and cursing filled the whole place: “ you wanna die? what makes you think i’ll give you permission for that? “

when he finally came, stomping his feat on the ceramics, hyungwon’s eyes immediately landed on his knuckles. he had been punching someone obviously.

he didn’t pay them any attention and just sank on his chair, rubbing over his knuckles.

“ king, should i call the doctor? “ one of the armed men said after running in.

“ no, he doesn’t deserve a doctor. that whore. “ the king clicked his tongue.

“ but.. he’s still bleeding and we can’t stop it king. he’ll die. “

the color left hyungwon’s skin the more he understood that it was wonho who was getting beat up again and that he was bleeding pretty badly due to some reason.

“ get the fucking doctor. “ he spat and leaned back.

“ i’m giving him everything. a nice room, soft bed, food. what else does he want? it’s way more than he deserves and he still dares to commit suicide on me. fucking useless slut. “ he paused “ make sure the doctor doesn’t give him painkillers. he should suffer this time. i’ve been too kind numbing his pain with drugs this whole time. “

 

wonho had tried to kill himself. hyungwon didn’t even know what state he was at right now. whether he was in the danger of dying. but it must have been bad enough for the guards to panic like that.

there was no way he could get into that room today. there’d be the doctor and guards in there. he had to wait till next time.

 

 

after hearing countless curses from the commander on the phone, he got ready to leave. it had been 10 days since their last visit. today would be the last meeting before the ship would arrive. the ship had army weaponry, the most recent technology and they couldn’t let this gang have them. they had to prevent it at all costs. hyungwon had to get those documents that day.

 

wonho was by the chair again. this time, his chain was thicker than before, weighing him down. checking his whole body, hyungwon noticed he had bondage around both of his wrists. his heart clenched, imagining the pain he must have felt. wonho looked like there was not an ounce on energy left in him. he was just curling up on the floor there, not reacting to anything that was going on around him.

 

hyungwon found an excuse again and sneaked into the room. pushing the painting to the side, he found the safe. 5 4 3 2 1 0, he entered the password and it opened! thanking wonho in his head, he looked through the many documents. tucking everything he needed under his jacket, he crawled out of the window and ran through the jungle. they had men there from the station waiting to receive those documents. his job was done and all he had to do now was going back in and appear as if he hadn’t done anything.

 

 

they went back to their base. hyungwon was sent out to take care of a few things. except he didn’t go to do those tasks, he went to the station instead. they were ready to have an early morning attack the next day and arrest all these fuckers.

 

the next morning came and they headed to the king’s place. another group would be sent to his own base at the same time. he wasn’t a combat soldier so he stood back until the path was mostly clear but he couldn’t remain outside as he was terribly worried about wonho and how he was gonna get handled by each side of this fight.

running in, he made his way to the boy’s room and didn’t find him there. he was about to leave when he remembered his hiding place. bending down, he found wonho there, curling up like the last time. he had his eyes closed and his head was leaning on the side.

 

“ wonho. wake up. we have to go. “ he shook him but nothing.

opening his eyelid, he saw that his pupils were dilated. he was probably on drugs.

using his strength, he hugged wonho’s thin limbs and took him out, placing him on the bed carefully. the chains made sounds again but this time it wasn’t that much audible because of all the gunshots and shouting that was going on.

hyungwon had brought a tool to be able to break wonho out of those chains and he didn’t waste time getting to it.

the cuffs and the choker were still there, he had to ask someone’s help for getting rid of them but for now, the blond boy was free to get out of there.

taking his jacket off, hyungwon wrapped wonho in it, hugged him again and walked out of the room.

“ cover me. “ he shouted at one of his colleagues as he made his way to the exit. there were so many bodies on the ground and the whole place had blood all over its floor and walls.

 

getting out, he put wonho in his car, closed and locked it.

“ did they capture the king? “ he shouted in all the chaos.

“ what? “ one of the soldiers shouted back.

“ The king, where’s the king? “

in the end, the king managed to escape.

 

 

 

 

“ how is he? “ the commander asked as soon as he came back to the station.

“ he hasn’t woken up yet. the doctor said the dosage they gave him must have meant to keep him asleep for a while. “ hyungwon replied.

“ keep him under your watch. from what you said, he’s been with that maniac for years. he’s a witness. we need him to give us info on where he might be hiding. “hyungwon nodded and buried his face in his palms.

 

 

 

 

 

“ how is he doc? “ hyungwon paused “ doctor. jesus, i forgot how to talk properly. “

“ just call me kihyun. he’s uh… damaged. the amount of pain killer he has consumed over the years has damaged his organs badly. not too bad to the point of being deadly but it’s still dangerous. it appears you rescued him just on time. we should start medication and detoxication right away. and of course, he has to stay here for a while. “ dr. kihyun said as he wrote things down on his chart.

“ do everything you need to do. he’s a witness and my boss wants him alive and talking. “ hyungwon said and immediately realized his demanding tone.

“ sorry. 4 years with ga*gsters had changed my way of talking. “

“ it’s okay. just make sure you don’t talk to him like that. he’s not just a witness, you know? he’s an innocent kid who’s been raped and beaten for years. he deserves much better than this. “ kihyun threw him a judgmental look before leaving.

 

wonho woke up two days later. hyungwon had just arrived and was sitting by his bed, looking out of the window when he heard shuffling. turning around, he saw wonho moving in bed a bit and slowly opening his eyes. the blond boy brought both of his hands to his eyes, blocking the light for a few seconds and then brought both of them back and landed them on his stomach. there were no cuffs around his wrists anymore but it seemed like wonho thought there still was, moving both of his hands together to prevent the steel from cutting his skin.

after seconds, he seemed to gather he wasn’t in his room as his eyes widened and he started looking around slowly, almost as if he was in a slow-motion. and then he saw hyungwon.

wonho gasped silently upon seeing him and jumped up, bringing his knees to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. he hid his face between his chest and knees. but he didn’t look away from him. he stared at hyungwon with his wide uneven eyes.

“ hey, you’re finally awake. you’re in the hospital. you’re safe now. we’ll protect you. “ hyungwon smiled and pointed at the door “ there are soldiers there, guarding the room. they won’t let anyone in unless it’s me or your doctor or the nurse. you’re really safe now wonho. “

wonho didn’t move an inch, nor did he look away from him. after a couple of minutes, when he seemed to register what those words meant, he looked down at his body and his eyes widened further. he held his hands in the air and looked at his wrists, then his ankles and finally touched his neck. his mouth opened in shock when he found out there was no longer any chain around him.

 

the bow of his hospital gown had opened and the fabric was just hanging on the boy’s arms. figuring he can’t tie it himself, hyungwon stood up and reached out to do it for him. but before he could do it, wonho’s body jerked and he hid his face, shut his eyes and brought his arms to his head as his whole body started shaking.

hyungwon froze. he couldn’t even imagine the things the blond must have been through to react like that.

“ shshsh, i don’t wanna hurt you. i will never hurt you wonho. i promise. i just wanna fix your gown. “ he said but didn’t do anything and waited for wonho to give him permission.

the boy opened his eyes slowly again and lowered his arms, looking at him in question and down at what he was wearing. he brought the fabric closer to his body and covered himself as well as he could with it. looking back at hyungwon, he nodded, showing him he could do what he wanted now.

 

hyungwon moved as slow and as gentle as he could. he walked a step closer and tied the bow. he felt how wonho’s body got tense as soon as his fingers brushed over his skin and didn’t relax until he was three steps away from him again.

 

the blond boy had just relaxed a bit when a nurse opened the door with more force than necessary, making a very loud noise. wonho lost all the little color he had on his skin and looked at the door terrified and breathing fast and deep.

“ do you mind being gentle a bit? you scared the shit out of us with your grand entrance. “ hyungwon couldn’t control his rage.

“ i- i’m sorry… “ the nurse bit her lip and looked at wonho worriedly.

“ i’m sorry wonho. i’m Amy, your nurse. it’s good to see you awake. let me get the doctor for you. “ the nurse smiled and left as fast as she had appeared.

 

minutes later, the door opened, this time gently, as kihyun walked in with a friendly smile on his face.

“ hey there. “ he said and stopped a meter away from the bed.

“ my name is kihyun. i’m your doctor. how are you feeling? “

all of this must have been a lot for wonho to process as he just sat there, curled up and looking all terrified and alarmed by the new people that kept coming in.

“ blink once if you have pain. twice if you don’t. “ kihyun said in a very smooth voice that was even making hyungwon relax.

wonho swallowed and blinked once. he was in pain. but his face wasn’t showing anything?!

“ where does it hurt? your head? “ wonho nodded hesitantly.

“ does anywhere else hurt too? “ wonho didn’t answer for a bit but he finally nodded again.

“ can you show me where it hurts please? “

wonho swallowed again as he uncurled his body and looked down at himself for a moment and then back at kihyun.

“ does it all hurt? all over your body? “ the doctor looked really sad while asking that. his eyes never left wonho.

the boy bit his bottom lip and nodded again.

“ i’m gonna step closer now, okay? i’m just going to check your wounds. is that okay? “ another silent nod.

 

kihyun walked slowly until he was by the bed. he untied the bow hyungwon had just tied and removed the fabric from his upper body.

“ turn around. “ kihyun told hyungwon and he immediately turned around, cursing himself in his head as to why he hadn’t done it sooner on his own.

“ what’s your name? is it wonho? “ kihyun asked as he was probably examining wonho’s estate.

“ no? what is it then? “

it wasn’t!? wonho wasn’t his name?! hyungwon felt so stupid to keep calling him by that. it must have been a name given to him by those fuckers and he kept calling him that. and.. of course no response came from the boy again. what was he supposed to call him now?

 

“ did they give you pills for the pain? “ a pause “ they injected you? “ must have been a yes as kihyun cursed them and sighed loudly.

it shouldn’t have been even a question. wonho’s arms were full of needle marks, making his pale skin red and bruised over time.

 

“ let’s put your gown back on, shall we? “ there were sounds of shuffling.

“ i’m going to inject you now. it’s not a bad thing. it’s to help the nerves in your neck relax. the choker around your neck had made them pinched and this will help that. it’ll be painful a bit but i need you to stay still because i’m injecting your neck and it’s dangerous if you move. can i start? “

“ you can turn around now. “ hyungwon heard kihyun say and turned around. wonho, he had to keep calling him that until he got to know his real name, was laying down.

“ here we go “ kihyun announced and pushed the needle inside the flesh of the blond’s neck. even the sight was painful but as usual, there was no sign of it on the boy’s face. the images of that day, when wonho was being brutally raped by that bastard came to his mind. if he had gone through that for years and remained alive, of course something like this wasn’t much of a pain for him.

except maybe it was. kihyun told him that it would be painful for a few hours because the needle would touch many nerves and irritate them. wonho didn’t let a whimper out but he curled up under the blanket and hyungwon saw a few tears running down from the corner of his eyes before the boy hid his face in the pillow completely.

looking at the trembling pale boy, he wondered what could his real name be. where he was from and how he had ended up in that hell. what things he knew and witnessed that would be useful in dragging more of the criminals down. he didn’t even know whether this boy was really mute or just chose not to talk.

 

 

two months later, wonho’s state was a lot better. good enough for the doctor to let him be discharged. hyungwon’s commander had wanted to send him to one of those houses that took care of victims like wonho but he was quick at saying that he would take him to his house. he used the fact that he was a witness and had to be under witness protection as his argument. there would be a few members, guarding the house in case of the king or his dogs appearing.

hyungwon had visited wonho regularly for two months but the boy never opened up to him. he would still flinch every time he got closer than wonho thought necessary and didn’t talk or look at him much. it was as if the boy was still scared of him, no matter how many times he promised him he wasn’t gonna ever hurt him.

 

 

“ this is your room. i chose this one because it doesn’t have any windows. we don’t know whether king will send men to get you back or not but we’re gonna be cautious. “ hyungwon held a key toward wonho

“ here. it’s the key to the room. you can lock it when you sleep if you don’t feel safe. “ he had made sure that nothing sharp or harmful was in there beforehand, knowing that the boy had tried to kill himself. the doctor had done such a shitty job at stitching him, there were fishbone-like marks on his wrists.

wonho took the key without touching his fingers and stood still.

“ go on then. you don’t have to wait for me to give you permission. you’re free now. you can do as you want. “ hyungwon said and wondered if the latter would ever be like a normal person.

wonho bit his lips as he looked to the ground.he looked hesitant. after a few seconds, he took a step backwards inside the room. the boy took hold of the door and started closing it slowly as he looked at hyungwon, observing him to maybe see if he was gonna stop him and not let him close the door. hyungwon smiled and nodded in reassurance. he stood there until wonho’s eyes disappeared behind the closed door and he heard the click of the lock, singling that he had indeed locked the door.

 

 

one week in and he was losing his mind. wonho would stay in his room for most of the day and eat only when he called him and even then he would eat as little as possible. he had actually grown thinner than before.

hyungwon didn’t know what he was doing wrong. he had decided to let him be, to adapt to the new surroundings and him and the fact that he wasn’t a fucking slave anymore but it seemed as if wonho had gone into his shell further. they had to visit the clinic once every second day for his examinations and to get the dosage of his medication. and even then, wonho wouldn’t even look out of the car’s window. it was like he wasn’t even willing to make himself feel better. hyungwon couldn’t understand and he got angry every time wonho locked himself up in that prison-like room.

 

“ sit down. “ he had called wonho out. the boy had come immediately without making much sound and sat on the floor on his knees when hyungwon told him to ‘sit down’

“ jesus fucking christ. sit on the damn chair wonho. you’re not my slave or anything. “ he said with a loud voice that made wonho flinch.

looking terrified and biting on his lip, wonho got up and sat on the edge of the chair slowly, not looking up at all.

“ sit back properly. the chair won’t bite. “ he said, trying to keep his tone and his anger under control but he barely managed.

wonho hesitated before moving until his back touched the backrest of the chair.

“ don’t you feel, i don’t know, dirty? don’t you wanna shower? you haven’t showered the whole week we’ve come home. “ hyungwon rubbed his palm on his face as he talked.

wonho’s mouth opened and closed again. he nodded.

“ then why don’t you? how many times do i have to tell you that you’re not a fucking slave anymore? you can shower if you want. you can watch tv if you want. you can eat snacks at night if you want. why the fuck are you behaving as if you’re my slave? do i look that scary to you? “

hyungwon was under so much pressure. he hated the way wonho was, how damaged and broken he was and then his boss, he was making him lose his fucking mind. he called twice a day asking whether he had gotten anything out of ‘the kid’. he wanted to get all the information from wonho he could as well but to him, his stability and health was more important than arresting any criminal out there. he just wanted to choke his boss at this point and choke wonho with food instead.

 

looking up after he was finished talking, he saw a couple of tears landing on wonho’s hands. he quickly wiped the rest away and bit on his lip hard.

upon seeing that, hyungwon closed his eyes and cursed himself a thousand times more for making him cry with his harsh tone.

“ i’m sorry. “ he said and got a tissue. hyungwon stood up and walked the few steps that separated them and held it in front of the blond’s face.

wonho must have not noticed him getting there as he got shocked and his body jerked with such intensity that the chair fell backward and the boy’s head hit the floor, making a really loud bang.

hyungwon witnessed it all. how his whole face wrinkled in pain but not a single sound came out of him.

“ hey, you okay? let me help you up. “ he stretched his hand toward him without thinking and as soon as wonho saw the hand reaching for him his eyes widened. he jumped up and ran to the room and locked it.

 

looking down, he saw a couple drops of blood on the floor. he knew this would happen with how hard he had fallen on the back of his head. getting the first aid kit from the kitchen, he walked to wonho’s room and knocked gently.

“ i’m sorry. i’m sorry i got angry. open the door so i can clean your wound and i’ll leave you alone afterward. please. “ nothing happened.

“ i won’t hurt or touch you. i just wanna clean the wound wonho. i’ll leave the room as soon as i’m done. “ a few seconds passed before wonho opened the door and stood in front of it, looking back and forth between hyungwon and his own hand that was covered in blood.

“ oh fuck. is it that much? turn around. “ the boy turned around slowly and his blond hair was covered in red.

“ i’m gonna touch your hair. don’t be scared. “ he said and moved the hair to be able to see if the cut was really that bad.

“ let’s go to the bathroom. i can’t clean this much of blood with a towel. “ making sure wonho was following him, he entered the bathroom and turned the water on. taking the shower head, he gestured for wonho to come closer.

“ sit in the tub. “

wonho looked down at himself and back at the water that was running down.

“ it’s okay, i’ll give you dry clothes. now hurry. “

 

wonho got into the tub, sat in the center of it and brought his knees to his chest. hyungwon cleaned the wound and when the blood was out of the blond hair, he could see the cut and it wasn’t all that bad. they didn’t need to go to the hospital for it. it wasn’t even bleeding anymore.

“ you’re all wet now. do you wanna shower now that you’re already here? “ hyungwon asked, turning the water off. he saw wonho nodding.

“ do you need my help? “ a shake of head.

“ okay then. use one of the towels and i’ll put clothes for you in your room. be careful not to slip and don’t shampoo your hair. “

hyungwon closed the bathroom door behind himself, waited for a while until he heard the water’s sound, sighed in defeat and regret and left to get clothes for wonho.

it wasn’t even 5 minutes later that he couldn’t hear the sound of water anymore, meaning the latter was done showering. he was waiting for him to come out but then he heard him vomiting. he panicked and made his way to open the door but stopped himself in time. he didn’t wanna scare wonho any further and cause him any more injuries than he already had. so he waited.

ironically, those sounds were the only sounds he had ever heard from the blond boy. a minute later he heard the flush and then the sound of water and not long after wonho came out, wrapped in one of his towels.

“ you okay? dizzy? “

wonho looked pale as he shook his head once and walked to his room.

" wake me up if you started feeling pain in your head or anywhere else. you could get another episode of a concussion. " 

 

 

 

“ one of my friends is going to visit today. he may look big and intimidating at first but he’s a really soft and kind-hearted guy so you don’t have to be scared of him. “ hyungwon told wonho once he called him out for breakfast.

 

it was 8pm when the bell rang. it was the first time someone came there in the almost three weeks that wonho had been there so he got shocked by the sound. chuckling, hyungwon siad that it’s the friend he told him about.

“ don’t think of running to your room now. you’re gonna sit and eat dinner with us. “

 

“ hey man! long time no see! “ hyungwon smiled widely as he hugged his friend.

“ and whose fault is that? it’s been four years! “ the latter hugged him back tightly.

“ oh, this is wonho. “ he paused “ wonho, this is my friend hyunwoo. “

“ hi wonho. nice to meet you. “ hyuwoo smiled softly.

hyungwon had never seen that expression on wonho, but he raised his eyebrows and tilted his head, looking at hyunwoo.

“ i brought pizza! let’s eat cuz i’m really hungry. “ they moved to the kitchen and hyungwon told wonho to come along.

“ what do you like wonho? pepperoni or cheese? “ hyunwoo asked, looking at him as he got the drinks out of the bag.

wonho looked at both boxes and blinked a couple of times before looking back at hyunwoo and shrugged. he shrugged! in wonho dictionary, that was a new achievement. hyungwon had never seen him shrugging! it was true that hyunwoo was good with kids, maybe he would come in handy with wonho as well! there was just something that made people be comfortable around him.

“ you don’t know? well then try both and see what you like. it’s okay to like both though! i like all kinds of pizza there is in the world! “

“ please! you like every fucking food there is in the world! “ hyungwon snorted.

“ i remember the days when a hyungwon would punch us for swearing. “ shownu raised an eyebrow at him.

“ yeah that hyungwon is long gone after living and working with a bunch of criminals for 4 years. “ he chuckled bitterly and set the plates on the table.

“ come wonho. let’s eat. “ he smiled at the blond boy who was still standing there silently.

 

they talked about their lives and shared the news with each other, mostly hyunwoo telling him about who had ended up with who and stuff like that and wonho just ate in silence. each time he finished a piece, hyunwoo would put another one in his plate nonchalantly without saying anything or even looking at him and wonho would pick it up and eat. he ended up eating 4 pieces which was a lot for him. hyungwon had literally splited himself in half but he never listened to him telling him to eat more and here he was eating whatever hyunwoo gave him. he was feeling betrayed yet happy that he was finally eating more.

 

after dinner, hyungwon told wonho that it was okay to leave if he wanted but they’d love it if he stayed. in the end, wonho left and locked himself in again.

 

“ man, you gotta come to have a meal with us everyday! i beg you! he never ate this much before! “ he whispered to hyunwoo.

“ what? he didn’t even eat that much! “ his friend snorted in disbelief.

“ trust me. the amount he ate was way more than what i usually manage to force into him. didn’t you see how thin he is? i swear i could see his ribs through his shirt the other day. “ hyungwon sighed and took a sip of his beer.

“ yeah, he’s… very skinny. you should give him more sugar. there’s no color on his face. “ hyunwoo said and frowned.

“ oh, no, he’s just pale. “ hyungwon gestured with his hand.

“i … i’ve hurt him two times now. i doubt he’ll ever open up to me. he still gets terrified every time i get a bit close to him but he didn’t even flinch when you put the slices for him tonight. “ hyungwon confessed.

“ what was i gonna do? slap him with pizza?! he knew i could do no harm! “ hyunwoo said shrugging.

“ he doesn’t think anything hyunwoo. he just gets scared as soon as someone gets close to him or something makes a loud noise. and of course that’s a given after all he’s been through. “ hyungwon paused “ but seriously, could you visit more often? maybe you can help him relax a bit and i can finally get the information my boss wants out of him. “

“ wow! “ hyunwoo stared at him and leaned back on his chair.

“ you’ve really changed, haven’t you? you want me to make him open up so you can use him? touché man, touché. “ he shook his head in disappointment.

“ i’ll come but not because of your selfish reasons, but because i genuinely want him to get better. “ hyunwoo got up. “ you should reflect on your priorities. are you really a cop still or have you become a criminal? “ he got his car keys and walked to the door. “ goodbye wonho “ he shouted before leaving.

hyungwon wanted wonho to take his time, but he also needed him to tell them what he knew because they had to arrest king before he created more mess or arranged another attack. that was some things people like hyunwoo, who didn’t know what damage people like king would cause, ever understand.

 

hyunwoo kept coming every third day and they’d all eat food together. he would silently put food for wonho and he would eat. the blond boy ate more the days he was there. but that was the only change. the shrugging and the raised eyebrows never appeared again after the first day.

it was the second week. hyunwoo was there and they were watching tv. the file hyungwon was reading from the king was open on the table as he didn’t expect the older to come and he also didn’t expect for wonho not to run back to his room and instead sit to watch tv when hyunwoo asked him to.

his phone was ringing nonstop and he ignored it for as long as he could but had to answer at some point. it was his boss again, shouting at him for wasting time and budget and everything else and doing nothing.

‘ make the fucking boy talk for fuck’s sake. i don’t know how you do it, i need the information on my desk in two days. ‘

 

throwing his phone away, he let himself fall on the sofa and leaned his head back. hyungwon closed his eyes, in desperation and in search of a way to have wonho give him something, anything, without terrifying the poor soul.

 

“ minhyuk “ an unfamiliar voice said. at first, he thought it was from the tv and ignored it but then hyunwoo’s gasp and “ oh my god “ told him otherwise.

opening his eyes and sitting up as fast as he could, he stared at wonho who was looking at him.

“ lee minhyuk. “ he repeated the name. his voice was hoarse and rough from not using it and he couldn’t talk loud but he fucking talked nevertheless and hyungwon was ready to jump out of a window from happiness and excitement.

“ who’s that? “ he asked after a ridiculous amount of time spent on staring at the blond boy and smiling like an idiot.

“ king’s real name. “ wonho appeared indifferent about their excitement.

“ lee minhyuk.. lee minhyuk.. “ hyungwon repeated the name in thought “ that’s a terribly familiar name… “

“ ah! lee minhyuk was this asshole who was a part of a slave show gang. he died when the group was arrested. “ hyungwon remembered the report clearly.

“ he didn’t die. he escaped. “ wonho paused and cleared his voice. “ he escaped taking me with him. “

“ but their faces are totally different! “ hyungwon argued

“ it’s not that hard to change a face. “ wonho looked different while talking. it was like he was more confident. his voice was low, nothing like the high pitched tone hyungwon had imagined him to have. maybe it was because his vocal cords were not used in so long.

“ there’s a warehouse. south, by the shore. he should be there. i’ll give you the address. though i doubt the police will ever be able to get him. “ wonho whispered the last sentence and looked down. he took the pen and wrote down two coordinances.

“ they keep all the stuff they get their hands on here. they’re heavily protected.“

“ how do you know all this? “ hyungwon asked

wonho paused and stared at the ground for a while before he looked back at hyungwon. “ he needs to fuck wherever he goes “

they all grew silent at that. wonho got up and walked toward his room when a question came to hyungwon’s mind.

“ and you? what’s your real name? “

“ hoseok “ he replied and disappeared behind the closed door.

 

 

hoseok did talk after that day but it was only when he was asked something and the answers were always as short as possible.

 

“ i’m telling you hyungwon. children are the healers of the soul. it will be perfect for him. “ hyunwoo said.

“ i don’t know. he still gets scared like before. i don’t want him to panic or get hurt again. you haven’t seen it hyunwoo. it’s really heartbreaking. “ hyungwon replied

“ i don’t want him hurt either but how much longer can you keep him here? it’s been five months and you even arrested that lee minhyuk a month ago. “ hyunwoo paused

“ look, how about we discuss it with his therapist tomorrow and decide afterward? you can’t stay at home forever hyungwon. you gotta get back to your job at some point. “ they had started to take hoseok to therapy after he started talking.

“ i know… i just.. i feel really guilty toward him. i had to do something that even now i can’t stop thinking about. “ he took a deep breath “ okay, let’s discuss it with the doc and then we’ll decide. but we have to ask his opinion as well. “

“ of course! “

 

 

“ hoseok, what do you think about kids? “ dr. Im asked.

“ i don’t ..know.. “ hoseok replied

“ do you like them? “ the doctor asked

“ i don’t know sir… i never came across one.. “ he replied, fumbling with his jeans.

“ but they should be cute.. kind, unlike adults “ he shrugged

“ hoseok, do you know what hyunwoo’s job is? “ the doctor asked after opening the door and calling hyungwon and hyunwoo in.

hoseok shook his head.

“ he has a kindergarten. he asked me if i thought it would be good for you to go there and play with kids and take care of them from time to time.”

“ take care of kids? .. i-.. i don’t know how. “ hoseok started to get stressed and it was obvious on his face.

“ it’s okay. you don’t have to. “ hyunwoo said quickly and crouched down in front of him but kept his distance “ it’s your choice. but if you choose to come, i’ll help you learn. there are other people there who are all very nice who can help you as well. “

“ it would be your decision in the end. no one’s forcing you. “ hyungwon reassured him. hoseok didn’t reply any further.

 

“ i’ll pick you up for the afternoon shift. it’s really crowded in the morning, i don’t want you to get overwhelmed on the first day. be ready at 3. “ hyunwoo told him through video call when hyungwon had called him to say that hoseok agreed.

“ i’m really happy you decided to do this. but if you didn’t like it today, there’s no pressure to continue going there, you hear me? “ hyungwon said as soon as he hung up. hoseok nodded and looked in thought.

“ why are you being so nice to me? you weren’t nice when you first met me. so…why?“

hyungwon wanted to hire someone to punch him to death. he couldn’t dare to keep looking at the brown and blue eyes that were looking back at him with so much vulnerability.

“ i’m sorry hoseok. i’m terribly sorry and ashamed. i-… it’s not even an excuse but i didn’t have a choice. if i disobeyed, they’d kill me and 4 years of work would be wasted.“ hyungwon tried to explain but knew it wouldn’t change anything. when he finished and looked up, he met wonho’s teary eyes and his lips that had become pouty due to the force he was using to stop himself from crying.

“ i see “ the younger said and nodded as he bit on his lip.

“ i… “ he paused and wiped his tears away with his sleeve. “ thank you for rescuing me and helping me and… letting me live in your house. i’m thankful but i don’t like you. you hurt me and.. you didn’t look sorry doing it.”

hyungwon’s eyes were full of tears and they started falling down.

“ hoseok, i- “

“ i should go get ready. “ he escaped to his room.

 

 

 

“ you’re not coming with us? “ hyunwoo asked surprised.

“ uh, no, i have to go to the station. “ hyungwon answered and looked at hoseok who didn’t have any kind of expression on his face.

“ don’t push yourself too hard. you can call me if it gets too much and i’ll pick you up. “ hoseok didn’t reply to that an got in the car.

 

 

 

“ you ready? “ hyunwoo asked as soon as they got out of the car. hoseok looked as if he was holding his breath.

“ do you want us to go back? “

he shook his head immediately.

“ i’m scared. “ he breathed out.

“ it’s okay. there’s nothing to be scared of here. there are only kids and a couple of teachers at this hour. “ hyunwoo reassured him. “ come on “

 

they walked in and hoseok was like a kid that was seeing something for the first time. he flinched with every little sound and turned to its direction.

“ hey there. welcome. you must be hoseok. i’m jooheon. nice too meet you. “ jooheon, one of the teachers, greeted him and held his hand out.

hoseok took a small step back and hid behind hyunwoo.

“ he’s really shy. “ hyunwoo said

“ oh really? i’m sorry hoseok. i didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. “ jooheon said with a friendly smile as he took his hand back.

 

hyunwoo started walking toward the 3-4-year-olds’ area, looking behind himself to make sure hoseok was following.

“ told you it’s not crowded in this hour. there are only 7 kids. let’s get inside. “

hoseok walked in, each step hesitant and as if he was ready to turn around and run away as far as he could. the kids were playing around, laughing and screaming.

jooheon walked in and the kids ran and attached themselves to him immediately.

“ teacher honey, he took my toy. “

“ i was playing with it first. “

“ no, it was mine. “

two of the kids started arguing and it resulted in both of them crying.

hoseok’s eyes widened as he watched this.

“ what’s a..toy? “ he asked as he looked around the room and all the colorful toys.

hyunwoo’s heart broke at the question. “ all of these. kids play with them. “

“ there are so many toys. why are they crying? “ he asked confused

“ they both wanted the same one. it happens quite often. “ hyunwoo smiled at the way jooheon was handling the situation.

“ i never had one. “ he whispered quietly.

 

hoseok was so uncomfortable with all that was going on that hyunwoo offered to go to his office and look outside from there. the office had glass as walls and they could watch the kids from there.

he sat by the glass, following the little ones as they ran around. and then when the parents came to pick the kids up, he just stared at them, wouldn’t take his eyes off. hoseok didn’t say a word throughout the whole time.

 

 

“ hey, how was it? “ hyungwon asked enthusiastically when they came in.

“ can i take a shower? “ hoseok asked looking all pale and shaken.

“ of course “ hyungwon’s smile fell as he watched him go to the bathroom.

“ what the fuck happened? “ he asked hyunwoo, his blood freezing as he thought about all the possibilities.

hyunwoo shook his head and sighed.

“ i have no idea. he didn’t get near the kids so i took him to my office. he just spent all this time looking out from there and then we came back. “

the bathroom door opened a couple of minutes after and he came out.

“ put your clothes on and let’s eat. “ hyungwon looked at hoseok.

“ can i pass? i’m not hungry. “ his wet blond hair was sticking to his forehead.

“ sure. “ he waited until the boy was in his room before he sighed desperately.

“ what should we do man? i’m truly helpless at this point. it’s like we’re just walking in circles. we do something to get him better but he ends up going back to his shell again. “ 

they remained quiet for a while.

“ how did it go with you? are they sending you to another mission? “ hyunwoo asked after a while.

“ no way in hell i’m going to another undercover shit. I’ve done enough to burn in hell for eternity already. “ hyungwon groaned.

“ they want me to bring him to the station. boss wants to talk to him personally and they wanna take his fingerprints to know who he exactly is. “

“ what did you say? “ hyunwoo asked frowning.

“ what could i say? i’m bringing him there tomorrow. “

 

 

hyunwoo left after they ate dinner and hyungwon went to his room. he had used the chance of not having hoseok in the house and put a hidden camera in his room. he opened his laptop and looked at the footage. the reason of doing this was that he had been worried about what he does in there all the time. whether he was hurting himself in some way.

at first, he panicked because he wasn’t on his bed. he was about to get out of bed and check the house when he noticed a movement under the table.

the blond boy was sitting under the table, curled up in himself, just like he had seen him doing back at the king’s place and he was pacing back and forth. his face was down so he couldn’t see it but his body language was enough to know that he wasn’t okay.

 

hyungwon called and said hoseok was terribly sick and he couldn’t go to the station that day. the date was set for next week.

during the week, hyunwoo came but hoseok didn’t come out. he barely ate and all he did was sit under that table and fall asleep there. hyungwon had a good guess that he had never actually used the bed this whole time. maybe that was why it was always so neat.

 

it was time for their monthly visit to kihyun’s clinic. he had expected hoseok to oppose going there but surprisingly he hadn’t.

“ hey~ i missed you hoseok! you look amazing. “ the doctor said all happy and smily when they walked in.

rolling his eyes, hyungwon looked to the side and saw… he could not believe what he was seeing actually. hoseok was blushing! he was blushing, hiding his face by looking at his feet and fumbling with his hoodie paws.

kihyun walked to the bed and waited for hoseok to go there and sit. hyungwon turned around like the usual because he would be taking off his clothes for the doctor to examine him.

kihyun announced everything he was going to do before doing them so that hoseok wouldn’t be scared.

“ you’re doing a lot better. let’s look at your lab results, shall we? “

both of them walked to the doctor’s desk and hoseok sat beside hyungwon on the chairs in front of the desk.

“ everything’s going good. if your body keeps healing like this, we’ll be able to cut the medication by the end of the year. well-done hoseok! “ kihyun smiled widely as he looked at him.

“ oh i almost forgot! here. i got these strawberry candies the other day for good patients. since you’re a perfect one, you should have some. “ he held the bowl of candies out for hoseok.

the boy looked at the candies, back at kihyun and again at candies before picking one slowly.

“ go on. try it. “ the doctor encouraged him.

looking puzzled at the wrap, hoseok figured out how to open it and took the candy out. he looked at it for a couple of seconds before putting it into his mouth. his eyes widened comically when it melted in his mouth.

“ you like it? “ hoseok nodded repeatedly.

he explained a few things to hyungwon, the new dosages he was to give the younger. they were about to leave the room when kihyun called hoseok.

“ keep your hands together like this. “ he put his hands next to each other, palms up. the blond boy was hesitant but he did it after a second. kihyun grabbed a fistful of candies and put them in hoseok’s palms without touching him. “ make sure to brush your teeth after eating them. “

hoseok looked at kihyun and… smiled! it was just a very very small smile, a slight twitch of the corner of his lips but still, it was a smile.

hyungwon bit his lip in happiness and smiled at kihyun, nodding in thankfulness. the doctor nodded back.

 

“ i wish you’d have been there. he smiled today! “ hyungwon said when they were alone. hyunwoo chocked on his drink.

“ for real? what was the cause? “

“ doc gave him candy! he even blushed! i swear to god it was a sight to see. he is very beautiful as it is, now add the soft look of a smile to his face and you’ll know how i felt! “ hyungwon smiled, remembering it and took a huge sip of the coffee.

“ i wish he begins to smile more often then. his face is always so empty unless he’s scared. and woah! enough coffee or you won’t be able to sleep! “ hyunwoo hit his shoulder

“ that’s the plan. i wanna watch him fall asleep first. can you believe he never uses the bed? he just sleeps on the ground under the table. “ he said, emptying his cup.

“ why there?! “

“ it’s some sort of a hiding place for him. he did it back there too. “ they both sighed heavily, wishing for the day he would open his heart to new things.

 

 

“ i’ll be by your side the whole time, okay? i’ll protect you. “ hyungwon assured him as they got out of the car and walked into the station.

“ hi son. good to finally see you. how are you feeling? “ his boss asked as they sat down in the confession room.

he didn’t answer. his boss looked at hyungwon with a raised eyebrow and he mouthed a ‘ i told you so ‘ to the old man.

“ let’s start with the basics. what’s your name? “

“ my real name is hoseok but he called me wonho. “he answered quietly and slowly.

“ hoseok. and your last name? “

“ i don’t have one. “ he shook his head once and blinked tiredly.

“ parents? “

“ i.. “hoseok bit so hard on his bottom lip that hyungwon was sure he had broken its skin. “ don’t remember. “

“ can you tell me how you ended up in the castle? where were you before that? “

“ why is this necessary? “ hyungwon asked feeling his blood boil. it was not what they had agreed on.

“ it is. now quiet. “ his boss threw him a warning with his eyes.

“ they kept us in a house, made us sell stuff. when i turned 13 and was no longer the size they needed for the job, they sold me to lee minhyuk’s boss. he had his eyes on me from the first time he saw me. he was just a… servant back then. but he’s very clever. he gave the information to police and when they got there and arrested everyone, he transferred all the money for himself and took me out with him, saying he’d free me so that i’d go willingly. he changed his face and identity and started his own business. as i said, he’s very clever so it didn’t take him long to become big. and of course, he never let me go. “ hoseok said as his voice grew quieter the further he talked.

“ what about the house you were held at when you were a kid? “

“ i don’t know really. but i once saw in the newspaper that a labor house was closed. it looked a lot like the one i was kept in. “ he shrugged.

“ you had a tough life, didn’t you? how old are you now? “ the boss said and sighed, rubbing his face in frustration.

“ i’m not sure. 22 maybe? “

after the old man had asked him all the questions there was in the world, he told them to stay and that someone was coming to get hoseok’s fingerprints.

“ the woman that comes in now, will hold your fingers. don’t be afraid. it’s a part of the process. “ hyungwon explained to him softly.

 

“ he isn’t in the computer. “ the officer said.

“ what?! “ hyungwon asked with widened eyes.

“ he’s not in the computer! there’s no match to his fingerprint. he has no identity. he basically doesn’t exist. “

hyungwon looked back at the boy that was sitting in the room still.

walking to the room, he knocked and opened the door.

“ hoseok, we want to make you an ID card. what do you want your last name to be? “ he asked, trying to be as gentle as he could.

“ a last name? “ he asked and seemed in thought.

“ shin “

“ shin? it’s a nice last name. why? “ hyungwon smiled.

“ there was a boy, he was around my age i guess. his name was shin. we never talked but he took care of me when my wounds were worse than usual.” hoseok explained and pouted slightly.

“ shin it is then. “ hyungwon nodded.

 

 

they were watching tv. hoseok didn’t leave after they ate that night. he was sitting on of the armchairs with his knees pulled up to his chest.

“ can i… come to your work tomorrow? “ he asked once they turned it off.

“ of course! of course you can. “ hyunwoo said and smiled warmly.

hyungwon wasn’t sure but he thought he saw a faint smile.

“ damn! i forgot. i got your ID hoseok! you’re officially a citizen now. with rights and all that shit. “ he jumped up, got the ID card out of his jacket and handed it to hoseok by stretching his hand.

he took it and looked at it for a few seconds in thought, before looking up at hyungwon.

“ i didn’t have rights because i didn’t have this card? “ there was so much sadness and desperation in his eyes that hyungwon wanted to go to the jail and kill that bastard a hundred times.

“ no. no no no. that’s not what i meant. i was just joking, “ he kneeled down in front of hoseok and looked into his eyes. “ no one deserves to be treated like that hoseok. not you not anybody else. what you went through wasn’t your fault. it was because he was a maniac “

“ there’s always a reason. like how you had to follow orders. “ hoseok’s eyes were full of tears. he put the card on the armrest.

“ i don’t want this. i never was more than an object and a card won’t change it now. “

“ it’s not about a card. it doesn’t even mean anything really. but it can resemble a new start in your life hoseok. “ hyunwoo said, not being to bear the sight anymore.

“ you’re not an object. you’re a person. just like everyone else. “

“ i don’t wanna be like everyone else. they all hurt others without thinking about them. “ hoseok was looking at hyungwon as he whispered it.

“ i’m going to sleep. “ he swallowed his tears and got up, walking to his room making no sound.

“ what in hell did you do to him hyungwon? “ hyunwoo asked before standing up and going after hoseok.

“ hoseok, can i come in? “ he knocked gently.

there was a pause before the door opened just a bit. “ why? “

hyunwoo showed his phone’s screen. “ let’s learn the kids’ names so you can communicate with them tomorrow. “ he said, forcing himself to smile after he saw the tears on the younger’s face.

“ you keep their photos in your phone? “ he asked with widened eyes as he wiped his tears with his sleeve and sniffled. hoseok opened the door and walked back in. hyunwoo took it as permission.

“ hmm, they’re really cute. i look at their photos when i’m sad. “ he said as he sat on the bed and leaned on the headrest.

“ come here. “ he patted on the space next to him on the mattress.

there was still a tear rolling down of the blond boy’s eye as he wiped it away again and crawled on the bed and left a bit of space between them.

hyunwoo started scrolling through the photos and telling hoseok their names. he listened quietly and repeated each new name to himself as if he was memorizing them all. teaching the names hadn’t been his intention at all, he just needed an excuse to be there and not let him get drowned in his misery again. and it seemed to be working.

hoseok was so focused on the photos and observed everything in them, that he asked questions that he didn’t even notice in the photos before. it was really cute and heartwarming to see him getting involved and talking that much and that freely. not like the times he measured his every word and was scared of them having consequences.

hyunwoo wasn’t even aware of how close they had gotten.

“ where is it? it’s not the kindergarten anymore. “ hoseok asked and that’s when he realized they had no space between them. the younger had moved closer to him but their bodies were still not touching.

“ oh, it’s the shop. i have a children’s clothing shop on top of the kindergarten.” he said, turning his head to the side as he looked into hoseok’s eyes. his eyes were really beautiful. the way one of them was honey brown and the other was blue, along with his natural blond hair, made him so much more beautiful.

“ you must really like kids. “ the younger said not moving back or getting afraid because of their proximity.

“ i do. i really love kids. besides, i figured it’s way better to work with kids than adults. you know how much of trash they can be.. “ he sighed and locked his phone, letting his hands rest on his lap.

hoseok looked right into him. his gaze moved from eye to eye.

“ did someone hurt you too? “ he asked after a short silence.

“ my father was an alcoholic. he used to beat us up when he was drunk. and then i realized adults are full of tricks when i was working part-time jobs in high school. i didn’t wanna be a part of their world. it’s too dirty and cruel. so i worked hard to gather money and got myself this little corner of heaven and i love everything about it. “

“ why did he choose that job? it’s .. inhumane and .. dangerous “ hoseok asked pouting a bit due to thinking.

“ who? hyungwon? “ the younger nodded.

“ well, his family was poor. he couldn’t pay for college and getting into police was somehow his only option. “ he sighed “ he is actually very smart. he could make a good doctor or lawyer. “

“ he was really mean.. the times he came to the castle.. scary.. and his face.. his face was really different from now. i couldn’t dare look at him. “ hoseok said as he looked down and played with his very long sleeves.

“ did he hurt you badly? “ hyunwoo asked, biting on his tongue not to cry.

“ not as bad as others would, but.. it still hurt “

“ do you think i can play with them now that i know all of their names? “ he asked, tilting his head a bit “ i wanna play with them like jooheon does “ a spark of excitement was there in his eyes for a moment before it disappeared again.

“ i think once you open up to them, they’re gonna love you. you’re a really lovable person hoseok. “ hyunwoo smiled at him.

“ and you’re really cute. i would pinch your cheek right now with how soft they are but you don’t like it so i won’t. “ he chuckled and pushed back the wish to squeeze him. he was really squishy when he pouted.

hoseok brought his palms to his cheeks and hyunwoo could swear he could see a faint blush.

“ i… can’t grow a beard. one of the doctors that once came, said my hormones won’t allow me to grow body hair. king was so happy that he didn’t hit me for a week. “

hyunwoo looked at him all the while he talked and when he let his hands fall on his lap again, covering them with his sleeves.

“ i’m sorry you had to go through all that. i really am. “ hoseok nodded and whispered a quiet thank you.

hyunwoo stayed and showed him the videos he had recorded of the kids. there were so many videos that they spent around 2hours watching them. hoseok would sometimes smile slightly at something while quietly watching them.

at some point when their bodies got tired, they lied down completely. it was hard to keep his hand in the air but if it meant that hoseok wouldn’t go back to his shell, it was worth the pain.

and then suddenly, he felt shuffling and when he looked to the side, he saw that hoseok had fallen asleep. the blond boy had shifted on his side and was keeping his arms to his chest closely. his mouth was parted slightly and he looked so in peace like that.

shifting on his side as well, hyunwoo remained perfectly still as he watched him sleeping. now that his bangs were messy, he could see his eyebrows. they were straight and just a bit darker than his hair. it was really cute because the head of his eyebrows was actually slightly higher than the rest of the length. he looked at how his eyelashes made highlighted shadows on his cheeks and the pillow. hoseok was beautiful, really beautiful. but that beauty must have been his curse because he had to suffer due to it for more than 9 years.

he stayed for as long as he could but when hoseok shifted again, he left. he didn’t want the boy to get scared if he suddenly woke up.

 

 

hyunwoo came to pick him up at 3pm the next day. when they went inside, hoseok got out of his shoes and looked back to check if he was coming. he looked excited. not how people would usually show the feeling but there was a bit of spark in his eyes unlike other times.

one of the kids was struggling with opening his nice bottle. hoseok saw that and walked closer to him hesitantly.

“ hi sewoon. want me to open it for you? “ he asked as he looked down at the kid.

sewoon looked up, nodded and gave up on trying any further. hoseok crouched down and held his hand out. the kid put the juice bottle in his hand.

“ aren’t you hot? “ he pointed out.

“ hm? “ hoseok asked as even he struggled with opening the bottle.

“ you’re wearing too many clothes. it’s summer. “ the kid said, looking at his juice that didn’t wanna open.

it was true. hoseok always covered his whole body. at first he even wore turtlenecks outside but when the bruises on his neck disappeared he changed it to hoodies. and he always wore long baggy sweatpants. hyunwoo had not once seen any skin from his neck downward. he even always wore socks at home.

“ can you open this? “ the blond boy asked after a last try and held it toward him.

chuckling, he walked forward and took it and opened it easily, giving it back to the kid who was jumping up and down.

“ thank you uncle hyunwoo “ sewoon kissed his cheek and ran off.

hoseok’s eyes widened seeing that and right after, he smiled. an actual open-mouthed smile, showing his teeth. the blond boy was following sewoon with his eyes and didn’t notice how hyunwoo was staring at him and his smile. if he had said hoseok was beautiful before, what he was seeing now was beyond beauty. he wished he had captured it.

 

the kids actually opened up to him when he talked to them. it was obvious how much effort the blond boy was putting into this. he would still become alert every time one of the teachers passed by him but he was really okay with the kids. they even gave him a name. teacher bunny. he had smiled even brighter than the first one for that name.

hoseok played with them for hours and he was actually really good at it. he was better than most of his teachers and he hadn’t even gotten a single lesson on how to treat children. the kids loved him so much that some of them started crying when their parents came to take them home. they told him to promise he would come again. he promised he would come again tomorrow if uncle hyunwoo would let him.

he had even smiled at jooheon. both of them got along really well unlike the first time. hoseok was really comfortable around him for some reason.

“ i can’t feel my neck anymore. “ jooheon said after they cleared the mess.

hoseok looked at him and chuckled and it was the most beautiful sound ever. hearing that, hyunwoo stopped his cleaning and just looked at them interact.

“ want a massage? “ the younger offered.

“ ugh i would really loooove a massage! “ jooheon exaggerated in gesturing.

“ sit “ hoseok said as he threw the towel he was cleaning with to the ground and sat on his knees behind jooheon. he looked at him for a couple of seconds before he swallowed, blinked a few times and inhaled deeply and then finally he raised his hands and touched jooheon’s shoulders.

the massage must have been really great with the sounds jooheon was making and the praises that were pouring out of his mouth.

“ thanks hoseok. you’re the best! your hands are magic itself. “the teacher said as he turned around and was about to hug him when he suddenly stopped.

“ sorry, i forgot. “ he laughed nervously “ make sure to come again. you were a big help today. “ he said as he bid them goodbye.

 

“ you were perfect today, you know. i’ve never seen anyone who’d click that fast with kids before. they loved you. just like i said they would. “ hyunwoo said handing him a glass of orange juice.

“ they’re all really cute. “ he said and turned his whole body at hyunwoo’s direction. “ i felt happy today for the first time in my life. i never understood what made people smile before. “ hoseok looked at the ground and smiled again “ but now i do. can i come again tomorrow? “

hyunwoo couldn’t talk and just nodded with teary eyes. they had finally managed to do something good for him. he just hoped with all of his heart that it wouldn’t go downhill again this time.

 

 

it had been five months since hoseok had started coming to the kindergarten. hyunwoo would pick him up every day at exactly 3pm. they started driving around the city for a bit after work around two months ago but they never got out to go to any place.

hyungwon was back to work but he was working in the station now. his bosses had tried hard to send him to the battlegrounds again but he didn’t accept. he still took care of hoseok in however way he could think of but nothing had changed between them. not once had he smiled at him the way he did at hyunwoo or kihyun or just something funny he saw on tv. but he was still happy to see him getting better, that was all that mattered.

he even had started eating a bit more. not much but still it counted. sometimes he’d even get up and drink water if he got thirsty at night. these little things were all big achievements for someone who used to stand on one spot for hours if they didn’t tell him he could leave.

 

on one particular night, hyungwon went to a bar after his shift with a bunch of his co-workers. he knew hoseok and hyunwoo wouldn’t come home until later so he had nothing to worry about. he drank more than he had intended and got drunk. in his drunken state, he started flirting with this girl and they ended up calling a cab and going to his house. he hadn’t had sex in so long that his drunken self wasn’t even thinking about hoseok. plus it was a woman she was bringing home and it would be fine.

 

hyunwoo and hoseok got home pretty late. they were having a birthday party for one of the teachers after the working hours in the kindergarten. hyungwon had never fallen asleep before they’d come home but they thought maybe because he was tired and they were late, he didn’t wait.

after hyunwoo left, hoseok showered, as fast as usual, and got in the towel.

as he walked out of the bathroom, he saw someone, a woman, about to get in. she looked at him up and down and grinned.

“ aren’t you a cutie! “

she walked slow steps forward as hoseok took them backward until there was nowhere else to go and he ended up being pushed to the sink.

“ what is it baby boy? are you scared of me? “ she reeked of alcohol.

hoseok was shaking nonstop as he gripped the stone’s edge as tight as he could and closed his eyes. the woman had closed the door behind herself and there was no way he could bring himself to try anything. he would only get hit if he did. he didn’t wanna get hit.

he had been sent to female clients as well. some of them had been even crueler than the male ones. some of his nastiest scars had been made by women. so yeah, he was terribly scared at that moment of what could happen to him this time.

“ no need to be scared. i just wanna make you feel good. you’re pretty and it would be a waste to not have a taste, wouldn’t it? “ she whispered into his ear as her hand worked on opening the rope of the towel slowly.

“ i don’t have my fake dick as i wasn’t planning on fucking anyone tonight but i still got my fingers. turn around for me baby. “ the woman said and grabbed his d*ck tightly. hoseok’s body jerked as tears started gathering in his eyes.

“ i told you not to be scared. i won’t be gentle if you don’t do as i say. “ he squeezed him further and he knew he had no choice in this. breathing hard, he turned around and as soon as he did he was pushed down to bend over the cold stone.

“ don’t dare to let a single sound out. “

it was always the same. they never wanted to hear the sound of his cries. not when they raped him. not when they hit him and not when he was in pain. he had learned it the hard way that the more sound he made, the more he begged for mercy, the worse it would get. so he stopped making any sound and talking altogether 8 years ago. his clients and the king were pretty satisfied with his silence.

the four fingers weren’t going easy on him and the fact that it was almost a year of having no one inside didn’t make it any easier.

a hand was keeping him steady at the back of his neck. the woman was taller than him and stronger. all he had been able to do was to bite hard on his lip as hard as he could and cry silent tears, thinking about what he had done wrong to deserve this and wishing to die so that all of it would stop at last.

“ i’ve always wanted to do this to a twink boy like you. your face is really worth the wait. it’s perfect. “ she whispered again before he felt wetness all over his cheek, earlobe and the tongue even licked over his lips that he immediately pursed together. his lips were the limit and even the clients knew better than to go for them. he would get so disgusted that he would throw up. it earned him quite several beatings back in the day but they just accepted it as his body anatomy. even the king himself didn’t go for his lips.

the woman didn’t give up and squeezed his cheeks to make him let his lips go. after a few hard treatments of the fingers, he clenched his teeth in pain and the woman was quick to catch his bottom lip with her teeth and suck on it repeatedly. it didn’t take him long before he felt his stomach turn and he threw up. he turned his head down when he felt the liquid crawling up his throat and because it had been fast, the teeth scratched over his lips. they were stinging as he threw up all that he had eaten. at least it made her step away from him and look at him with a disgusted look.

and in that moment, the bathroom door opened and hyungwon came in, looking at them back and forth with a concerned look.

“ what the fuck are you doing in here? “ he yelled at the woman.

“ did she hurt you hoseok? “ the taller asked him with blood red eyes that were covered in rage.

panting harshly, hoseok managed to nod before his stomach turned again. he wasn’t aware of his surroundings anymore. he didn’t notice how hyungwon dragged the rapist out, took her ID out of her bag and threw her out of the house. he didn’t notice how hyungwon helped him sit up after he had fallen to the ground and cleaned his mouth. or how he hugged him, took him to his room and put his clothes on. he wasn’t aware of how hyungwon hugged him to his chest as close as possible, crying and saying how terribly sorry he was.

he didn’t know any of it, he only knew that when he opened his eyes the next day, hyungwon was sitting on the ground and had his head resting on his arm that was on the bed next to him.

feeling wet on his forehead, he raised his hand and got a wet towel off of his skin. why was there a wet cloth on his forehead?

a shiver went down his spine at recalling the last night’s events. his eyes widened and fear crawled under his skin as he sat up as fast as possible and looked around to see if the woman was anywhere near him.

the movement must have been intense enough to wake hyungwon up.

“ hoseok? “ he called his name when he saw him sitting and looking around with a paler skin.

the blond boy turned to him immediately at hearing his name.

“ she’s gone hoseok. she won’t be able to hurt you again. i got her name, i will make her pay for this. “ he said, trying to stay as gentle as possible.

he got the thermometer from the nightstand. “ open your mouth and keep it under your tongue. “hoseok relaxed just a bit and opened his mouth.

“ thank god. you were having a very high fever the whole night. “ he sighed in relief when he saw that the boy’s body temperature was finally back to normal.

“ sleep a bit more. you’re still weak. i’m gonna go make something to eat. “ he said before leaving the room, not closing the door.

 

when he came back hoseok was not on the bed. he knew by now where to look and as he had expected, the boy was curling up under the table.

“ come on. let’s go eat. i made the pasta that you like. “ he said, standing at the door frame.

hoseok didn’t react to it. only when a minute or two passed did he talk.

“ did you wanna watch as she hurt me? was that why you brought her here? “ he asked quietly without looking at him.

hyungwon wanted the group to open and just swallow him whole at how ashamed he felt to have caused pain to the fragile boy yet again.

“ no. i would never want something like that. “ he said with the same quiet tone and sat on the ground across from the blond.

“ i don’t believe you. “ hoseok muttered as he curled up further and started pacing back and forth.

“ i’m telling you the truth hoseok. i would never do anything to hurt you. “ he paused and recalled the first time “ well, .. not after that time i wouldn’t. i got piss drunk like a fucking idiot last night and brought home the first woman i laid my eyes on. i’ll never do that again. i promise. i won’t even go drinking ever again. “ hoseok looked at him briefly but didn’t say anything.

“ let’s go to the kitchen now. hyunwoo’s on his way too. “

 

they were sitting around the small table but none of them said anything. well hoseok would never talk on his own unless he was asked something but that day hyungwon and hyunwoo didn’t talk either. the older had known something was off the moment hyungwon called and asked him to join them for lunch.

hoseok only played with his food without eating anything.

“ can i live with you? “

it was as if the time stopped. his blood froze in his veins as he just stared at the blond boy. he had no idea he hated him that much. he had every right to. hyungwon had never brought him anything but pain but still.. his heart broke when he heard it come out of his lips.

“ uh,,, yes.. “ hyunwoo replied after having a few seconds of silent shock.

“ thank you “ hoseok whispered and walked back to his room.

“ what is going on? “ he asked with a deep frown on his face.

“ i brought a girl, well a fucking rapist, home while being drunk last night. she… “ he couldn’t even bring himself to say it in words.

hyunwoo didn’t need more as he groaned desperately and leaned back on the chair.

“ you didn’t know she was like that. it wasn’t your fault. “ the older patted him once he was a bit calm.

“ yeah well he doesn’t think like that. he even thinks i brought her home to watch him get abused. “ he paused and swallowed the lump in his throat.

“ he.. gets thirsty during the night often and i’m guessing he won’t walk around freely in your house so make sure to put a glass of water for him in his room. don’t ever touch him when you want to wake him up. just call his name quietly, that’ll do. don’t play action or any sort of violent movies in front of him. it’ll remind him of his past and he’ll have a breakdown. but in case of that happening, call dr. Im immediately. and me. he likes this pasta, medium rare steak and you know, pizza. so if he’s not eating, get him these. “ he sighed deeply “ just.. take care of him man. i know you will but.. make sure he feels safe. unlike here.. “

“ hyungwon “ hyunwoo called him with a confused and shocked look on his face.

“ hm? “

“ do you like him? “

“ don’t be ridiculous hyunwoo! i’m fucking straight. the woman i brought home last night is enough proof. you’ll get to know these things after living with someone for a few months. jesus. “ he rubbed his face in frustration and got up.

 

hoseok left with hyunwoo on that same day without a word.

 

 

weeks passed. hoseok kept going to the kindergarten. kihyun cut his medication the week before, saying he was, at last, healthy but told them to come for a check-up every three months for the next year.

 

now that he was living with hyunwoo, he would leave with him since morning. they would go to the shop first. hoseok would sit at a corner or help hyunwoo organize the newly delivered clothing. and then they would go down. he spent the busy hours in hyunwoon’s office the first couple of weeks but one day he asked if he could stay out. he was slowly getting used to having adults around him.

they would eat lunch with the kids and hoseok would fall asleep on the floor, surrounded by all the little ones that loved him dearly. then hyunwoo would go to the shop for a few hours while hoseok remained at the kindergarten. and finally they would come back home and eat the dinner they had gotten on their way, together. sometimes they sat to watch a comedy or a romance and then usually hoseok would fall asleep, resulting in hyunwoo carrying him to his bed.

 

“ are we not gonna wait for hyungwon today? “ hoseok asked as he sat on the table. usually hyungwon would eat dinner with them on fridays.

“ he won’t come today. “ hyunwoo replied as he put the food on the table.

“ why not? “

“ he was sent abroad on a mission. “

hoseok’s face fell and his eyebrows twitched.

“ he said he wouldn’t go on missions again.. “

“ he had no choice hoseok. let’s eat. “ hyunwoo pushed the plate toward him.

 

“ how can i get one of those cards? “ hoseok asked, pointing at the certificates of the teachers.

“ there are some classes. you can get the certificate after passing them. “ hyunwoo smiled as he replied.

“ can i? can i apply? “ the blond boy looked at him with such plea in his gorgeous uneven eyes.

“ sure! i’ll put your name in. “ he couldn’t be happier to see him willing to do all of these things. he had opened up so much, he couldn’t wait for hyungwon to come back and see all the progress. it had been three months since he’d went away.

 

 

“ i wish i was in this movie. “ hoseok said as they were watching a romance.

“ why? “ hyunwoo asked chewing on popcorn.

“ it must be really nice to have someone to love you like that. “ the blond replied without looking away from the couple that was hugging each other sweetly.

“ what about you? have you ever loved someone? “ hyunwoo was trying to tease him but the blush that spread on the pale skin and the way he got all shy caught him off guard. was there someone he loved?!

“ hoseok!? tell me! “ his heart was beating fast. so fast he couldn’t help but get flustered. he didn’t know why it was acting like that.

“ you’re making me distracted, stop! “ he chuckled and threw him a popcorn.

“ smooth. but you’re gonna have to tell me one day! “

after that he couldn’t help but think about it. about who it was that hoseok had feelings for. he kept his eyes on him closer than before. they were really close with jooheon. not touchy but close. there was no way it was hyungwon because hoseok clearly disliked him enough to ask for another home. and then there was dr kihyun who would have wonho blushing with each compliment. it must have been it. hoseok had to have feelings for kihyun. he didn’t know why but the thought didn’t make him feel good although it should have.

 

hoseok was strange lately. he must have known that hyunwoo was the one moving him from the couch to his bed but he never said anything about it or acted frustrated. he had stopped locking his door on the nights he went to bed himself and sometimes he’d even leave the door open. he would blush with each word of affection or praise that hyunwoo said to him. it was all okay until that night came.

“ c-can i… can i sleep here? “ hoseok had gone to bed early that night. hyunwoo had just gotten in bed, around 3 hours after hoseok, when the blond boy appeared at his bedroom door.

“ yeah, come here. “ hyunwoo held up the blanket for hoseok to slip under.

the blond boy walked slowly as he made his way to the bed and got under the blanket, keeping distance between them.

they were looking at each other. there was something new in hoseok’s eyes, some kind of way when he looked at him recently that made him curious. deadly curious.

the younger boy bit on his lip “ do you like men? “

hyunwoo’s eyes widened at the sudden question. “ yes. i’m gay. why are you asking? “

“ do you like me? “ hoseok asked right after he answered his previous question.

hyunwoo’s breath got stuck in his lungs. the room was dimly lit. hoseok’s hair was designing his flawless skin with perfect shadows. his uneven eyes were staring at him with sparks and his red full lips were parted slightly. looking at him he realized the only truth: “ how can i not? you’re perfect. “

hoseok’s eyes lit up and he smiled brightly, showing his perfect teeth.

he thought the moment was over and that he’d sleep or go back to his room but then..

then hoseok started crawling closer. he was hesitant but he didn’t stop. hyunwoo stayed still not to scare the younger. they were next to each other. so close but their bodies weren’t touching yet. hoseok got up on his elbow and looked at him. hyunwoo looked back as he held his breath. he was dying on the inside. he wanted so bad to just open his arms and hug this perfect boy. he had wanted to do it for a long time now.

hoseok’s lips parted and he licked over his lip briefly before raising his other hand from his own body and moving it toward hyunwoo’s chest.

the older wasn’t wearing any shirt. he never wore it at night.

hoseok swallowed again before he finally let his fingertips touch the skin of hyunwoo’s chest.

he gasped loudly. hoseok’s fingers were cold. he was usually cold too the times he carried him to his bed.

“ your skin is soft to touch. just like a kid’s “ the blond said as he let his fingers ghost on his chest and abs.

“ your skin looks really soft too. even though i never touched it. “ he exhaled and closed his eyes for a few seconds to get himself under control. he couldn’t react to the touch.

hoseok smiled at him and thank god he stopped sliding his fingers on him. without a word, the blond boy lowered himself and let his head rest on hyunwoo’s chest as he circled his thin arm around his abdomen.

“ you can hug me too “ he said quietly and hyunwoo could feel those soft lips move against his skin.

slowly, he wrapped his arm around hoseok’s waist and started caressing his blond strands with his other.

“ your cheeks are really soft against my skin. i’ll kiss them one day if you let me. “ he whispered, not wanting to break the moment.

“ you can kiss them tomorrow. “ he felt how hoseok smiled.

“ good night “

“ good night hoseok “

 

 

the next morning, he woke up first. at first when he woke up but hadn’t opened his eyes yet, he thought that everything was a dream. he had dreamt about hugging hoseok a few times. he didn’t wanna recall it but he had even dreamt about kissing his kissable lips.

but then he opened his eyes and saw that hoseok was there. his head was on hyunwoo’s arm and he had his one of his arms on the space that was between them and the other was on the older’s stomach.

without making too much movement, he got his phone from the nightstand and took a picture from the world’s best sight ever and sent it to hyungwon: ‘ look who decided to sleep next to me last night! he’s doing a lot better. can’t wait for you to come back and see for yourself! ‘

he knew his message wouldn’t be read. hyungwon didn’t even take his phone with him when he left. it was protocol. the hard part was that they didn’t even know where he was sent to, on what kind of a mission or when he would be back.

hoseok shifted a bit before opening his eyes.

hyunwoo put his phone down and was afraid if he would get scared when he saw that he was sleeping in his bed.

his worries appeared to be nonsense as the beautiful boy smiled a bit and mumbled a ‘ good morning ‘ in his hoarse voice. his voice was really beautiful too but his morning voice was sexy. it was pure sin. hyunwoo hated himself for getting lost in his head every time he heard it.

“ morning sleeping beauty. can i kiss your forehead? “

hoseok hummed lazily and closed his eyes again.

hyunwoo brushed the blond strands to the side before he leaned in and pressed his lips on the pale skin gently. he remained like that for a few seconds before leaning back.

hoseok was looking at him when he met his eyes.

“ even your scent is perfect. i can hug and kiss you forever. “ he didn’t get a reply. just a brief smile before hoseok fell back asleep.

 

 

hoseok was reading a novel, something he had quite gotten into the past few months. he had this habit of playing with the next page. hyunwoo had told him many times not to do that because papers would cut you when you expect it the least. he was sitting next to him and taking care of his own business that was sorting out the files and the expenses of the kindergarten.

he heard a very quiet hiss, one that he would miss if he wasn’t that close to hoseok. turning his head, he saw that there were a few drops of blood on the younger’s index finger.

throwing all the papers he had in hand on the couch next to him, he took hoseok’s finger and put it in his mouth and sucked on it to get the blood.

the blond boy’s body tensed at the action and his eyes widened.

“ see? i told you the paper would cut you. let me get a bandaid. “

hyunwoo ran to the kitchen and got a bandaid out of the kit.

once he applied it perfectly and looked up, he saw there were tears on hoseok’s face as he kept staring at his finger.

“ what? does it hurt that much? “

the younger shook his head repeatedly and laughed.

“ no one’s ever done this before. they never got themselves dirty with my blood. “

moving closer, hyunwoo wiped the tears away by his thumbs and let his palms cup hoseok’s face slowly. it was the first time he was touching those cheeks he had loved since the first time he saw him.

“ they were trash. i’ll always be there for you, hoseok. always. i’ll never leave you alone. “ another tear rolled down. hyunwoo leaned in and kissed hoseok’s cheek, taking the tear with his lips. the younger wrapped his cold fingers around his wrists loosely and closed his eyes.

 

 

 

five months passed. hoseok had started sleeping in hyunwoo’s bed. he had kissed him a few times on cheek or his eyes. he would kiss him on the forehead every morning but he didn’t push it any further. he figured hoseok would show him a sign or tell him when he was ready for the next step.

“ i got it! i got the certificate! i can’t believe this! “ the blond said as he brought his hand to his mouth in disbelief.

“ of course you did! why did you doubt it? you’re really smart. “ hyunwoo answered.

kihyun had once told him that the amount of drug and painkiller that they had given him had actually killed quite a lot of his brain cells. he told him that hoseok was very smart. given other circumstances, he could even become a scientist. but his life had been unfortunate from the very beginning, wasting his talents and abilities.

“ i-…“ hoseok paused and looked at him with teary eyes. “ thank you so much. thank you thank you thank you “ before he could know it, the younger jumped up and wrapped his arms and legs around him, hugging him tightly.

hyunwoo hugged him back immediately and pressed him close to himself.

“ you did it all by yourself. i just applied your name. congratulations hoseok. you’re now officially a teacher here. “ he whispered in his cute ear as he caressed over his hair.

“ no “ the blond boy said and shook his head a few times, making his eyelashes and hair rub over his skin and send a shiver down his spine.

“ if it wasn’t because of you, i wouldn’t be here. you made me open up. you let me come here and gave me the opportunity to go to the classes. thank you…” he felt hoseok’s arms tightening around his neck “ thank you hyunwoo “

that was the first time he had called his name. and it sounded so beautiful to hear it that he was going insane.

“ say that again. “

“ what? “ hoseok asked and leaned back to be able to look at him. hyunwoo was still holding him up in his arms.

“ say my name again. “

a beautiful blush appeared on hoseok’s cheeks as he chuckled shyly and hid his face in his neck again.

“ say it. please? i wanna hear you say it again with your sexy voice. “

“ stop it. my voice is not sexy. it’s annoying! “ he shook his head in his neck again.

“ no, it’s not. you have the sexiest voice in the world. especially in the morning. every time i hear you talk, i wanna melt at the sound of it. and then there is the way your lips get all pouty when you speak. aaaah~ can’t i just kiss you now? “ he realized what he had said as soon as it left his mouth. and yes, he regretted it right away. he didn’t wanna make the younger uncomfortable.

“ hyunwoo “ hoseok leaned back again and asked right into his eyes and smiled beautifully.

the younger leaned in slowly, closing the distance between their lips bit by bit as his eyes kept looking back and forth between hyunwoo’s lips and his eyes, until their lips touched.

it was just a press of lips on each other but it was so relaxing. it was like a wave of cold water ran through him and calmed all of his senses.

a couple of minutes later, hoseok leaned back and looked down.

“ i’m sorry. i’ve never kissed anyone before. i don’t know how… “

“ i’m gonna teach you right now “ hyunwoo said as he walked forward and let hoseok down on the kitchen counter. he remained there, between the younger’s legs.

cupping his face, he leaned in and kissed hoseok again. the further the kiss went, the hungrier he got for them. his lips were so insanely delicious and addictive. he didn’t know if he could use his tongue but decided to try his luck. opening his mouth slightly, he let the tip of his tongue lick over hoseok’s bottom lip briefly. there was not even a flinch and no negative reaction so he decided to go on.

hyunwoo slipped his tongue in the younger’s mouth and as soon as he did, he caught a gasp. he wrapped one of his arms around hoseok’s waist and pulled him closer as he deepened the kiss. his beautiful blond was getting more and more into it and he felt how his feet wrapped tighter around his waist, pulling him even closer than they already were.

after a long time, when they were both quite breathless, hyunwoo leaned back “ we should stop. or i won’t be able to contain myself anymore. “

“ i’m…. i think i’m ready. “ hoseok said as he bit on his lip nervously and his fists got tighter on hyunwoo’s shirt.

“ there’s no rush baby. we can do it when you’re completely sure. “ he said as he caressed the very soft cheek with his thumb.

“ is that okay? “ hoseok asked, looking vulnerable.

“ it’s more than okay. “ hyunwoo leaned in and pecked those juicy lips again before holding the younger’s head to his chest and hugging him tightly.

“ i love you hoseok. i’ve loved you for a long time. you’re everything i ever wanted. “

the younger’s body tensed at his words for a few seconds before he relaxed again. “ i.. love you too hyunwoo. you’re the only person i love. changkyun always says i should love myself first before others but… i love you more than myself. “

“ hyunwoo “ hoseok looked up at him.

“ yeah baby? “ he replied, brushing the blond hair out of his face. he looked so different with his hair up.

“ will you make love to me? i think i’m really ready. i… my body never reacted before but it is now,.. for the first time. “

hyunwoo pushed back the anger he felt again toward the beasts that had tortured this pure soul for years and started kissing him again. hugging him tightly, he picked him up and walked to the bedroom.

he let hoseok on the mattress carefully and took his own shirt off.

“ will you let me undress you hoseok? “

“ yes, but… my skin.. is not.. it’s damaged. it’s ugly. “ the blond boy replied as he tugged at his hoodie.

“ your skin is not ugly. the things they did to you is. everything about you is beautiful. i love it all. “ hyunwoo said as he helped him sit up and took his hoodie off gently. he gave up on trying to hold his tears back. there was no use. how could he not cry from how scarred the pale skin was? and then he noticed the scars of the stitches on his wrists. he had never seen them before. hoseok had always hid them very well.

kneeling on the ground, he leaned down and kissed both of the younger’s wrists as gentle as he could. his tears landed on the scars and wet them. he kissed his way up. there were other marks around his wrists too, they must have been due to cuffs holding the flesh for too long. he kissed all of them one by one. hoseok just sat there and watched him with his own teary eyes. and then hyunwoo kissed his lips again.

“ i love you “ he whispered it again to reassure him that his scars didn’t change his feelings.

 

 

 

two months after that hyungwon came back. he had a few wounds here and there but was alive and okay and that was all that mattered.

“ so you two became love birds, huh? “ he grinned and sipped on his wine.

“ we sure did! “ hyunwoo replied and kissed hoseok’s cheek.

 

the younger didn’t talk to hyungwon much at first but he warmed up to him over time. hyungwon quit his job after that mission. he said he didn’t wanna add any more guilt on his shoulders.

hyungwon’s real reason was that he didn’t wanna see the look of disappointment in hoseok’s eyes ever again. it was true that he didn’t like him in a romantic way like hyunwoo had suspected, but he loved him like a brother would. he wanted to be around and spend time with the only family he knew, hyunwoo and hoseok. he opened a coffee shop from the money he had saved up through the years.

 

hoseok still had bad days. terrible nights when he was hunted by the old memories in his sleep. times when he couldn’t eat or smile but he worked hard to defeat it. he worked hard to become stronger.

hyunwoo worked hard to always remind hoseok of how much he was loved.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoyed it ~  
> check out my other stories if you like hyungwonho ^^  
> comments are appreciated ^^


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